E i l u j i o n


Birthmother Acknowledgement
February 23, 2009, 4:36 pm
Filed under: adoption | Tags: , , , ,

1352603800_ecaa8d0748_mI have finally spoken the my birthmother after she said that she needed space. It was good to talk. We talked a lot ~ or I think I talked a lot. She called a couple of days ago and we spoke in the morning and the evening for about two hours during each call. Then we spoke the next day. It just so happens, that day, I had a breakdown with my partner. We have now taken a break from each other. Our fight had nothing directly to do with my birthmother. When I told my birthmother that we were taking space apart and how upset I was, she immediately offered to be there for me and ‘come get me’ if that was necessary. This struck a cord with me because I have been asking her to visit for quite a long time and she hasn’t. Does it have to come to such a crisis in order for her to really be there for me? Why wouldn’t she realize that a visit from her may have eased some of the tension in my life? I feel it’s almost as if she can’t validate my life as it is. She wants to take me into her life and have me there, but has a hard time acknowledging who I am. This is a very stressful struggle. I feel that since I found her, my sense of self has changed profoundly, yet I’m not sure how to incorporate it into my life, to create a new life, validating the person I feel inside.

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