E i l u j i o n

Full Circle
April 27, 2009, 4:39 pm
Filed under: adoption | Tags: , , , , , ,

1849710962_42fb37f581I just got a job in Colorado as the head of media arts, animation, motion graphics and visual effects departments at an art school. I’m starting in May and will be staying with my birthmother initially.

I feel like I’m in a dream. A job to advance my career in proximity to my birthmother and my two brothers. One of my brothers is coming back from Afghanistan and is thinking about going to the school that I will be working at.

I had planned a trip to Chicago to visit my adoptive family and attend an animation conference before I was offered the job. When I’m there I will also visit the relative I found who is an artist. He is in a nursing home in Evanston. I was told that he was the head of a department at an art school as well.

When i return, my birthmother is coming here and we are going to drive out there together.

This is full circle. Two years ago, at this time, I realized that her mother had died and went out there to begin our re-reunion. I also took a trip to Chicago and went to the same animation conference ~ in the same order.


Reconnecting With My Birthmother
April 7, 2009, 1:31 am
Filed under: adoption | Tags: , , , , , ,

3418815454_3a17c5021bI was recently able to take a trip to Colorado, due to a job interview and spend time with my birthmother. We were able to reconnect. The context of the visit diffused stress and we had fun together. It has been about 6 months since I have seen her and we’ve been through a lot ~ dealing with my birthfather and what it means to be in eachother’s lives. This is a picture of us with her husband. He is dealing with health issues related to diabetes, but seemed in good spirits during this trip.

A Trip ~ Like a Dream
April 4, 2009, 10:01 pm
Filed under: adoption, Synchronicity | Tags: , , , , ,

img_4596cI just returned from an interview for a good position in Colorado. I had only applied for this position and was able to get an in person interview. They flew me out and I stayed for the week, so I could spend some time with my birthmother. How amazing would it be to have a position that furthered my career in proximity to my birth family.

I feel as if I am in a dream ~ swept away by the force of the universe…

Connecting with Birth Grandfather’s Family
March 20, 2009, 2:22 am
Filed under: adoption | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

edithkrasnikI’ve now connected with members of my birth grandfather’s family ~ my birth mother’s father’s family. This is a picture of my great grandmother, his mother. I’ve connected with the family through Facebook and Geni. They even added me to their family tree. This is a big deal. I’ve always felt a disconnect between the family tree experience and my adoptive family. I felt that I had a relationship to those I knew, but when it came to distant ancestors, I just couldn’t find a connection. When seeing the ancestors in this family, I am moved. I am also moved by being in contact with those who are alive. Thank you internet!

Artist in Birthfamily Found
March 10, 2009, 12:02 am
Filed under: adoption, Creativity | Tags: , , , , , ,

hydrawing1I finally found out that the one artist in my family is alive! We lived in proximity to each other for years, but I never knew of him. I’ve been in touch with a friend of his who is an art director. I wrote about him in a couple of earlier posts – https://eilujion.wordpress.com/2007/09/22/artist-in-the-family/#comments & https://eilujion.wordpress.com/2009/03/03/job-near-birthmother-and-extended-family/

I found his daughter and also found out that he was in a nursing home. His friend went to visit him, printing out a picture that my birthmother had gotten from him when she was 10yrs old and had saved all these years. The picture on this post is of him drawing with a printout of the picture my birthmother had saved.

This is what his friend wrote after visiting:


I visited Hy today. He appeared glad to see me, but it’s very difficult to understand what he’s saying. I know he understands me.

I brought him the art supplies and got him draw something for you and asked him to sign it ‘For Julie’ and he did.

I think written communication would be best. I told him all about you but I’m not really sure he understood it all. I gave him the drawing he gave your mother, you can see it in the bottom photo.

Why don’t you write him and tell him the whole story. I’m sure he would be excited to know. And encourage him to draw. He hasn’t been drawing.

When I mentioned Tracy, he seemed to get a little sad. Guess he misses not seeing her.


Job Near Birthmother and Extended Family
March 3, 2009, 12:50 am
Filed under: adoption, Synchronicity | Tags: , , , ,

flyngmchnWay back in December, I applied for a job in Colorado which had come to me in a round about way. I hadn’t been applying for jobs, but the description of this one was wonderful and it was right in proximity to my birthfamily. Since then I’ve had a couple of phone interviews and today I received an e-mail that they want to fly me out for an in person interview at the end of the month. I feel like this is such a miracle and I’m totally overwhelmed. To live in proximity to my birthfamily would be pretty incredible.

I’ve also been on a search for a cousin in the family who is an artist. This is a link to an earlier entry on the topic. I ended up meeting with a colleague of his who showed me a lot of different kinds of illustration work he created. His colleague had said that he hadn’t heard from him in a while and was concerned about him. He knew that he had a daughter. After that meeting, I started searching for his daughter and recently found her. I also found out that he is still alive. I am waiting to hear back from her to see where all of his artwork is and if it is archived. She wrote this on my Facebook wall ~ Hi, long lost cousin Julie, gosh you do look alot like the family. I am just awe struck. Please send me e-mails when you can. I want to get to know you better.

The image attached to this post is one of his illustrations.

Birthmother Acknowledgement
February 23, 2009, 4:36 pm
Filed under: adoption | Tags: , , , ,

1352603800_ecaa8d0748_mI have finally spoken the my birthmother after she said that she needed space. It was good to talk. We talked a lot ~ or I think I talked a lot. She called a couple of days ago and we spoke in the morning and the evening for about two hours during each call. Then we spoke the next day. It just so happens, that day, I had a breakdown with my partner. We have now taken a break from each other. Our fight had nothing directly to do with my birthmother. When I told my birthmother that we were taking space apart and how upset I was, she immediately offered to be there for me and ‘come get me’ if that was necessary. This struck a cord with me because I have been asking her to visit for quite a long time and she hasn’t. Does it have to come to such a crisis in order for her to really be there for me? Why wouldn’t she realize that a visit from her may have eased some of the tension in my life? I feel it’s almost as if she can’t validate my life as it is. She wants to take me into her life and have me there, but has a hard time acknowledging who I am. This is a very stressful struggle. I feel that since I found her, my sense of self has changed profoundly, yet I’m not sure how to incorporate it into my life, to create a new life, validating the person I feel inside.