E i l u j i o n


Reconnecting With My Birthmother
April 7, 2009, 1:31 am
Filed under: adoption | Tags: , , , , , ,

3418815454_3a17c5021bI was recently able to take a trip to Colorado, due to a job interview and spend time with my birthmother. We were able to reconnect. The context of the visit diffused stress and we had fun together. It has been about 6 months since I have seen her and we’ve been through a lot ~ dealing with my birthfather and what it means to be in eachother’s lives. This is a picture of us with her husband. He is dealing with health issues related to diabetes, but seemed in good spirits during this trip.



A Trip ~ Like a Dream
April 4, 2009, 10:01 pm
Filed under: adoption, Synchronicity | Tags: , , , , ,

img_4596cI just returned from an interview for a good position in Colorado. I had only applied for this position and was able to get an in person interview. They flew me out and I stayed for the week, so I could spend some time with my birthmother. How amazing would it be to have a position that furthered my career in proximity to my birth family.

I feel as if I am in a dream ~ swept away by the force of the universe…



Another Attempt to Contact Birthfather
March 22, 2009, 4:25 am
Filed under: adoption | Tags: , , , , , ,

1216006314_478d7d4659I contacted my birthfather again ~ this is what I said….

Ray ~

It was good to hear back from you. I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. You had mentioned that one of your daughters was sick as well ~ I hope she is ok. Do you have more than one daughter?

I am not one to give up easily, because I feel that we are all on a journey in this life. It might not take us where we would like, but it takes us there none the less. It is important for me to find out who I am.

Since Eileen is convinced that you are my birthfather and you won’t respond to my request for basic information, I would like to suggest that we verify or refute the facts in a formal/scientific way.

I would like to request that you take a DNA test in order to know the truth once and for all. I can take care of all the arrangements for the test.

If this is something you are not comfortable with, then please provide me with the basic medical, genetic and family information that I previously requested.

Again, I don’t want anything from you, but this basic information.

Attached is a picture of myself, hopefully you can see it this time…

If not you can see my picture on my facebook profile at http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=1484440614&ref=nam e

~ Julie



Another Letter to Birthfather
February 27, 2009, 1:04 am
Filed under: adoption | Tags: , , , , , ,

1332539601_9274d1d120_mI just sent another letter to my supposed birthfather:

Hello ~

I hadn’t heard back from you and thought that I might as well follow through.

The fact that you pulled yourself off of Facebook and the fact that you won’t respond to my e-mail, makes me think that this situation is more to you than you can deal with.

It’s O.K…

If I am of your flesh – that is good. If I’m not, then you’re just helping someone though a transition in their life. Everything happens for a reason.

I believe that you could provide some valuable information ~ family heritage, medical history and a picture or two. I’m sure there are good people in your family and I’m sure you can find some of that goodness in your heart.

Think of it as points on your record ~ your redemption for whatever sins might be haunting you. I am a wonderful person, with all the best intentions ~ let’s put this behind us.

What a great thing to give up for lent ~ resistance…

I look forward to hearing back from you… soon (hopefully)…

Sincerely ~ Julie

Attached is a picture of myself…

He responded within 2 hours. This is what he said ~

Julie

Sorry that I haven’t written back to you.Ihave been very sick and one of my daughter’s is sick and mught be put in the hospita; and this breaks me up real bad.I am not your father in any way;I couldn’t download yiur picture.

Ray



Birthmother Acknowledgement
February 23, 2009, 4:36 pm
Filed under: adoption | Tags: , , , ,

1352603800_ecaa8d0748_mI have finally spoken the my birthmother after she said that she needed space. It was good to talk. We talked a lot ~ or I think I talked a lot. She called a couple of days ago and we spoke in the morning and the evening for about two hours during each call. Then we spoke the next day. It just so happens, that day, I had a breakdown with my partner. We have now taken a break from each other. Our fight had nothing directly to do with my birthmother. When I told my birthmother that we were taking space apart and how upset I was, she immediately offered to be there for me and ‘come get me’ if that was necessary. This struck a cord with me because I have been asking her to visit for quite a long time and she hasn’t. Does it have to come to such a crisis in order for her to really be there for me? Why wouldn’t she realize that a visit from her may have eased some of the tension in my life? I feel it’s almost as if she can’t validate my life as it is. She wants to take me into her life and have me there, but has a hard time acknowledging who I am. This is a very stressful struggle. I feel that since I found her, my sense of self has changed profoundly, yet I’m not sure how to incorporate it into my life, to create a new life, validating the person I feel inside.