Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, birthfather, birthmother, reunion, search
So my birthfather called my birthmother. She said she told him about me in between small talk. Ten minutes later he then sent this e-mail:
I am still trying to picture how we know each other.Do you have a picture that you can to me via E Mail.I am a little puzzled..Why do you want me to contact your daugther? Are you married?
I have to end it here.We are having friends of ours over for dinner.I will looking forward to hearing from you.
She then sent this picture of herself and responded:
This is my high school picture from 1966….I have brown hair and green eyes…We dated in 1967 for several months…. I met you at Hillmans…I was a cashier…I got pregnant approx 12/67 with your daughter…when I told you I was pregnant you were very ugly to me and told me to get lost…you said you were just trying to see how many girls you could get pregnant…and would not talk to me anymore…I was financially unable to take care of her and had to give her up for adoption…15 years ago she found me and wanted info on her father…I was unable to locate you until now….I must admit I wasn’t trying hard.
I just wanted you to contact her or I can have her contact you…she has many questions regarding your family….and all her history…especially medically…
Her name is Julie Lynn Goldstein…she lives in Philadelphia….she has a production studio…she is a animator….and also does documentaries…..her birthday is 8/12/68…
Yes I am married…32yrs ….I also have 2 sons 25 & 27….
It would be really nice if you would contact her or let me know if you won’t…I can also have her contact you if you want….she is your daughter….if you want we can dna test but I’m 100% sure she is yours….you were the only person I dated at that time … I don’t want anything more than her knowing her father it means so much to her…
He then responded:
Sorry to give you some bad news,but,I have never dated anyone form Hillmans,That why I didn’t recognize your name.I am not her father,You have me confused with someone else.
I would appreciate it if you would find the right person.AS i am not the person.
I asked her to e-mail him back and ask for his picture, but he never responded. He pulled himself off of Facebook.
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E i l u j i o n 
Oh my god…. I’m speechless
Comment by Theresa February 10, 2009 @ 8:08 pmI don’t really know what to say. Surely this man is in denial, and/or is fearful that you will mess up his perfect life (as if).
The world is full of abandoning assholes.
Comment by Elizabeth February 12, 2009 @ 9:25 pmI am so sorry, Julie. He sounds just as mean now as he did when he brushed your biological mother off. 😦
Comment by Mara February 12, 2009 @ 9:54 pmSo sorry Julie, I have a birthmom in denial, claims to be the victim of identity theft? None of her family will speak to me either. After 18 years of searching have sent a letter to my birthdad, been almost 3 months and no response.
Comment by carolyn carboni July 2, 2009 @ 1:08 pmI find it so frustrating, hard for me to move on with no answers.
I have decided I will send a Christmas card and photos of my kids every year, who knows, they may grow a conscience at some point in the future.
I wish you the best of luck with it all,
Carolyn.