Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthfather, family, relationship, reunion, search
I contacted my birthfather again ~ this is what I said….
Ray ~
It was good to hear back from you. I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. You had mentioned that one of your daughters was sick as well ~ I hope she is ok. Do you have more than one daughter?
I am not one to give up easily, because I feel that we are all on a journey in this life. It might not take us where we would like, but it takes us there none the less. It is important for me to find out who I am.
Since Eileen is convinced that you are my birthfather and you won’t respond to my request for basic information, I would like to suggest that we verify or refute the facts in a formal/scientific way.
I would like to request that you take a DNA test in order to know the truth once and for all. I can take care of all the arrangements for the test.
If this is something you are not comfortable with, then please provide me with the basic medical, genetic and family information that I previously requested.
Again, I don’t want anything from you, but this basic information.
Attached is a picture of myself, hopefully you can see it this time…
If not you can see my picture on my facebook profile at http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=1484440614&ref=nam e
~ Julie
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthfather, letter, relationship, reunion, search
I just sent another letter to my supposed birthfather:
Hello ~
I hadn’t heard back from you and thought that I might as well follow through.
The fact that you pulled yourself off of Facebook and the fact that you won’t respond to my e-mail, makes me think that this situation is more to you than you can deal with.
It’s O.K…
If I am of your flesh – that is good. If I’m not, then you’re just helping someone though a transition in their life. Everything happens for a reason.
I believe that you could provide some valuable information ~ family heritage, medical history and a picture or two. I’m sure there are good people in your family and I’m sure you can find some of that goodness in your heart.
Think of it as points on your record ~ your redemption for whatever sins might be haunting you. I am a wonderful person, with all the best intentions ~ let’s put this behind us.
What a great thing to give up for lent ~ resistance…
I look forward to hearing back from you… soon (hopefully)…
Sincerely ~ Julie
Attached is a picture of myself…
He responded within 2 hours. This is what he said ~
Julie
Sorry that I haven’t written back to you.Ihave been very sick and one of my daughter’s is sick and mught be put in the hospita; and this breaks me up real bad.I am not your father in any way;I couldn’t download yiur picture.
Ray
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthfather, letter, search
Since my birthfather has rejected my birthmother’s attempt to communicate, I decided to send him a letter myself. I e-mailed it and used Did they Read It in order to track it. (If you sign up, you get to track 10 e-mails free for a month.) I was able to see that two hours after I sent the e-mail, he opened it for just a second (literally) and then two hours later, he opened it for about two minutes. This is what I said:
Hello ~
Recently Eileen contacted you regarding the fact that you guys worked together at Hillman’s grocery store in the suburbs of Chicago. She feels strongly that you are my birthfather, because she wasn’t with anyone else at the time. Though I can’t be certain whether or not you are my birthfather, I just wanted to contact you myself.
I understand that this is a strange situation, but I want you to know that I don’t want or expect anything from you. I don’t want to intrude on or disrupt your life or your family, I simply want to know something about my background.
I was adopted into a loving family, but like anybody who grows up adopted, I feel a particular need to to find out about my heritage and family history, and whether there are health issues I should know about. It would mean the world to me to know what nationality your family is… what your medical history is … and to see a picture of you.
I hope you can find compassion for my curiosity. I would be very grateful for your generosity. The information you could provide me would render a strong sense of peace.
Thank you for your time ~ Julie
This morning, I checked the tracking and noticed that he opened it once again, 15 minutes after I posted this.
Now it is the evening and I’ve noticed that he has opened it again.
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, birthfather, birthmother, reunion, search
So my birthfather called my birthmother. She said she told him about me in between small talk. Ten minutes later he then sent this e-mail:
I am still trying to picture how we know each other.Do you have a picture that you can to me via E Mail.I am a little puzzled..Why do you want me to contact your daugther? Are you married?
I have to end it here.We are having friends of ours over for dinner.I will looking forward to hearing from you.
She then sent this picture of herself and responded:
This is my high school picture from 1966….I have brown hair and green eyes…We dated in 1967 for several months…. I met you at Hillmans…I was a cashier…I got pregnant approx 12/67 with your daughter…when I told you I was pregnant you were very ugly to me and told me to get lost…you said you were just trying to see how many girls you could get pregnant…and would not talk to me anymore…I was financially unable to take care of her and had to give her up for adoption…15 years ago she found me and wanted info on her father…I was unable to locate you until now….I must admit I wasn’t trying hard.
I just wanted you to contact her or I can have her contact you…she has many questions regarding your family….and all her history…especially medically…
Her name is Julie Lynn Goldstein…she lives in Philadelphia….she has a production studio…she is a animator….and also does documentaries…..her birthday is 8/12/68…
Yes I am married…32yrs ….I also have 2 sons 25 & 27….
It would be really nice if you would contact her or let me know if you won’t…I can also have her contact you if you want….she is your daughter….if you want we can dna test but I’m 100% sure she is yours….you were the only person I dated at that time … I don’t want anything more than her knowing her father it means so much to her…
He then responded:
Sorry to give you some bad news,but,I have never dated anyone form Hillmans,That why I didn’t recognize your name.I am not her father,You have me confused with someone else.
I would appreciate it if you would find the right person.AS i am not the person.
I asked her to e-mail him back and ask for his picture, but he never responded. He pulled himself off of Facebook.
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthfather, birthmother, reunion, search
Well, in the next post, or the last post before this ~ I was drenched in loneliness. I know that I can’t dwell in it ~ but to feel it is to feel.
Now, all of a sudden, after many years of asking, my birthmother has finally remembered my birthfather’s name. Not only did she remember, she has found him and contacted him. First, she confirmed that it was him that we found by asking him if he worked at Hillman’s grocery store in the 60’s, which is where they met. He sent back a reply saying ‘yes I did’. Then she followed up with a short note about how they dated a bit back then and that she had something to tell him. She gave him her number and direct e-mail. We are waiting for his reply.
This all happened through Facebook. Facebook is pretty amazing. By joining his network, I was able to see some basic info he posted, such as his birthday and high school info. With the birthday info, I went to my handy online astrological chart link and did a quick reading. It is amazing how much info is available online. It’s all moving very quickly, after years of stagnation. Knowing is better than wondering, that’s for sure!
E i l u j i o n 